Do you ever wonder why you feel out of sync with the world around you? In this episode, Lori and Jimmy share ideas to help improve your mental health and the importance of maintaining proper perspective during times of disruption.
Episode Keys
- Why you should prioritize your mental health to live a better life.
- How to know when you need rejuvenation of your mind.
- Who can help you find your equilibrium when the world goes berserk?
- Tools you can use to help you maintain perspective in life.
Podcast Transcript
JW:
Good morning. It is another beautiful sunny day here in the greatest state of the union. Yep. The one I’m referring to today as always Oklahoma, I tell you folks, we are moving forward in this world. Like you wouldn’t believe, not just a couple of weeks ago. We got the internet here in the state of Oklahoma, according to my friends in New York. Yeah. My co-host is laughing as I can see her on video. Most of the people in California don’t even think we have running water, but yes, we got that folks as well. So I’m having a little bit of fun, cuz I just got back from a big trip with our daughters. It was spring break here in Oklahoma. So we allowed our younger daughter to choose the destination of which she would like to have some fun. And we thought, well, she’ll go with her sorority sisters and so forth.
JW:
But it really, I gotta be honest with you. It brought a tear to my eyes, an old dad. It just brought a tear to my eyes. She said, dad, I would rather spend my last break for spring break before my senior year ends with mom and you this year, I’ll be turning 21. That’s a big age for a young lady. And she said, I know where we want to go. I said, honey, you just pick it anywhere. Maybe Ukraine or the, you know, Russia right now, anywhere else. But that right now, and my heart goes out to those people in Ukraine. It really does. But anyway she said, I want to go back to Disneyland. I said, woo Yippy. But I just love Disneyland. You know, I had breakfast on my birthday, which was last week as well with goofy. So that’s pretty cool, huh.
JW:
And, and don’t laugh for the connotation of the name and Jimmy goofy and Jimmy kind of maybe go together when I’m at Disneyland. But anyway, we had a great time. So you know, coming off that high, that brought something to mind and I’m visiting with our co-host before the show. And she, and I just had this same kind of epiphany about where the world is right now. And so I’m gonna introduce now our, what I call the co-host with the most. I mean, I align myself folks with much more talented people than me. That’s why this show is so great. All across 57 countries that listen to this is because of this lady right here. I give her all the credit and all the props for that. And she is the one that just brings that spice of life to what I consider my day of doldrum that I bring, you know, just regular Jimmy. So Hey Lori few, my co-host welcome to the show.
LF:
Good morning, everybody and happy delayed birthday, Jimmy. I’m so glad that you gotta have breakfast with goofy.
JW:
Well, he and I go way back, Lori, that was only my third time to have breakfast with. And he’s a great guy. Great host, great host.
LF:
Well, I mean, now let’s be honest that that’s three. So, you know, Saturday night live has the five time host club. So you know, two more visits and you are right there at the top of your goofy game.
JW:
Yeah. So I’m gonna be honest with you though. I tossed goofy aside at Disney world a couple of times, and I had lunch and breakfast with some princesses and I don’t mean my own daughters. I mean, you know, Cinderella, I’m talking to real chick, the real lady in her castle,
LF:
Not ladies and gentlemen, you cannot imagine how important that must have made Jimmy feel
JW:
And how embarrassed Jimmy felt. I’m the only one that showed up in black tie because I’m meeting a royalty and I’ll be with you to me. That’s how you meet royalty with the best you have. You know, top hat had a little cane with me, had black and whites on. Anyway, I was the only one there. I was pretty embarrassed about it.
LF:
Now, listen, everybody’s had that mental picture now that Jimmy’s in his Sunday, best black tie, trying to meet princesses at Disneyland. Listen that if that doesn’t put a smile on your face on a Monday morning, I don’t know what will it is the happiest place on the planet. And we are gonna talk about a topic this morning. That tends not to be so happy this morning. We’re gonna delve into are the deep dark secrets. Well maybe not secrets, but the deep dark. Yeah. Maybe secrets of mental health, mental health is one thing that seems to be at the forefront of people’s conversations these days. And one thing that we hear at live of life by design want to focus on is the positivity of mental health. Mental health can be a positive thing along with the other attributes in our lives that we’re working and striving hard to accomplish every single day. It doesn’t have to necessarily have a negative connotation. I mean, by definition, mental health is a state of wellbeing in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities who can cope with the normal stresses of life can productively and fruitfully and is able to make a contribution to his or her community organization, workspace, family, or friend circle. So that’s a really big mouthful this morning that we’re gonna kinda delve into piece by piece.
JW:
You know, Lori, I’ve got a question for you, cuz you’re really good at this stuff. Lori has a round of understanding this cuz she’s, she’s just been a wonderfully talented person in her own, right. But she’s got the capability to really understand this topic far better than me. So I have a quick question for you. Why is it that we can take someone such as say Jimmy during a pandemic gained a few pounds and I’m trying to get it off. We can go to the gym and work on, on our physical fitness. We go to that gym and we work on it. How many times a week I do about four times a week. I love to get up there to sweat a little bit, get that stress off, do what I need to do to feel good about my body. Well, why do we treat that as a positive Lori, but we don’t treat seeing someone that may help us battle some of these dress and get it off our mind in our mental health exercise.
LF:
It’s, it’s very common for people to associate mental health or stability or fitness with a physical sense. I think that’s just, that’s how we’re designed by nature. I think in our mindset, I mean we’re taught from a very young age that we need to be physically healthy as well as now. We’re starting to talk about mental health. If anything, the pandemic taught us is that people suffer in silence more than 43 million Americans struggle with some type of mental illness or mental health issue. And that’s a staggering number when you look at the amount of people that are on the planet and I, I to IM a terrible workout person, oh, I’m awful. I’m not the Jimmy. Who’s at the gym sweating four times a week. I’m the lady that hitting the snooze button and my having to like have a friend text me and hold me accountable because I’d rather sleep or hit the snooze button.
LF:
I, I, my physical fitness is not near on par where it needs to be. And in that sense, I learned quickly that I needed to do something in my busy lifestyle and schedule to facilitate my mental health. It’s not something that we’re used to talking about in, in our generation, my generation, your generation, Jimmy. And so hopefully as adults, we can start having those conversations so that kids, our kids generation and their kids, kids won’t have such a stigma around the issue of mental for so long. It wasn’t talked about I don’t think people even really knew or especially me growing up the correlation between physical, mental health. But it’s so important. And I’m so glad that we’re able to talk about it on a level where people can kind of understand and not be so stigmatized that, you know, they’re afraid to even mention it. Well, you know, we all talk about the whole person, right? So I I’m looking at Live a Life By Design. We want you to live a full life that encompasses a lot of things. Financial wellness, spiritual wellness, marital wellness, family, wellness, physical wellness. Why wouldn’t mental wellness be one of those? Well, of course it is. So one of the things I want to ask you today, Lori is helped me figure out a couple of things. The pandemic brought a new type of stress. It brought isolation. And when I say new before the pandemic, you could pretty well go anywhere. You want to go. Kids could do what they wanted to do. You can get on planes and fly anywhere you wish during the pandemic. Some of these restrictions were placed upon us, even how we got on those struck or visited those locations was changed. So tell me, how do we now, as we see things opening up quite a bit, how do we get ourselves to let go of all of that behind us, that we can’t control and move forward? That’s what I think we need to do somehow. How do we do it?
LF:
I think we’re absolutely right. And I think, you know, it goes back to, to baby steps and, and every day, putting yourself in a situation where, you know, pre COVID, this is how I handled it during COVID. This is how I handled it, but I’m not quite sure that post COVID. I want to go back to one way or the other. Maybe like the best of both worlds a little bit here and a little bit there. I think that people really figured out that during COVID they could do so many things, even though people were saying, you know, don’t leave your house, don’t go anywhere, stay home. We really figured out how to, to adapt. And maybe we don’t change some of those things that we adapted to during COVID. Maybe some people figured out that they really are more of an introvertive extrovert.
LF:
I, I found myself, I am such a people person. I absolutely love being around people and I need that. And I thrive on that. And I think that that’s one thing mental health does for me. Even when I’m in a state of, you know, fog as I call it I get too much on my plate. I get too much going on. And then I’m just in this swirl of fog. Like I can’t see anything, I can’t pinpoint what I need to do next. And so to clear that fog, you just kind of have to take a minute and prioritize, okay, what is it that I really need to accomplish right now? So, I mean, maybe that’s how we can start.
JW:
I think that’s a great first step. So I’m gonna not mention her full name, cause I didn’t get her permission to use it, but I call her Dr. Kathy she’s a dear, dear friend of mine. I’ve known for many, many years. Her kids went to school with our older daughter and Dr. Kathy and I were just talking yesterday and I asked her, I said, are you seeing your practice? She does therapy group and individual sessions. And I said, are you seeing your practice of mental health that you serve as a psychologist? Are you seeing that grow during the pandemic? Or did it probably fall off because people weren’t going and getting out as much. And she said something that kind of shocked me. She said her business has been so busy. She can’t take a new patient now for eight to 10 weeks.
JW:
That’s how far out she has to push through. Wow. And I said, really, and she said, this was just different than other tragic situations that may have come along. She said, I’ve helped families that had a loss of a loved one, say a matriarch died. That was just a real glue to the family. And some people need some help there and there’s nothing wrong with any of that. And, and I said, well, here’s one thing I’m wanting to know. I did some research and I want your confirmation. I’ve read that engagement by employees that have come through this pandemic have been 16% less aged than they were pre pandemic because of the caring in their minds of all this stress and all this anxiety and all this depression from the things that happened over the last couple years. And she said to me you’re absolutely right, but I think the percentage may be higher. Is that shocking?
LF:
That it is shocking. And, and to think that we probably don’t have enough people going into the profession of helping other people deal with their mental health and mental illness. You know, I, I think it’s interesting that we talk about the workforce and, and what mental baggage, so to speak that we carry in that regard, because, you know, we have people, especially frontline workers who, when they entered the medical field, they, if this was their first or second year into the medical field, you know, fresh out of school, they probably walked the in not knowing that this was not something that they signed up for. And just, you know, they knew that they wanted to be doctors or nurses and that they anticipated people being sick and people dying, but not to the level of COVID numbers. I think that that would definitely be a problem. And just like when we talk about psychiatrists and psychologists and mental health counselors, we probably didn’t have enough people in those fields, pre pandemic, and now post pandemic it’s certainly needed because people are looking for an outlet. They’re looking for someone to talk to. They, they just, they need human contact in a sense that those people are able to provide
JW:
And keep in mind, Lori, my reading and studying on this subject matter pales in comparison to yours. I’m sure, but I will tell you those first responders, for example, the healthcare, the ambulance EMTs the nurses, the surgeons, the people had to deal with all this stuff over the last couple years under the certainly dire circumstances. They people think have it all together because you know, they’re medical people and they know what to do to keep their minds fresh. Did you know that a large percentage of those nurses, doctors, surgeons, and EMTs are choosing either to retire or getting to another profession because of the stress. It’s so huge on them. And I just, that’s just another part of mental health. They’ve got no break, right? So how can we take say Jimmy Williams, how can I get a break from the mental stress of the day? What are some ideas you might get offer our listeners?
LF:
Well, I have, I, I actually have a funny story. I I’m, this is probably gonna be really bad. I decided, and, and since you’ve asked, you know, how can you focus positively on mental health, be mindful of the activities that you put yourself into, whether it’s, you know, meditation, whether it’s journaling, whether it’s exercise, whether it’s coffee for me,
JW:
Coloring books, perhaps.
LF:
Well, OK, so I’m going there. I I’m. Yeah. So a friend of mine recently recommended that she had started taking yoga and she said, it’s great for my mental health. I love to be able to go. It’s traditionally done with founder music, but it’s done in silence. Well, first of all, I can’t tell, I can’t not talk. It’s just impossible. Like I, I think I probably came out talking at birth. I don’t even know what my first word was. It was probably a sentence. But for those people who know me, they know that it’s very difficult. If you see me, I’m gonna talk. I just can’t help it. If you don’t have five seconds built in for me to say something to you, then, you know, run the other direction. So I sign up to take this yoga class. I show up, I have no idea what to expect.
LF:
I’ve never done anything like it before, but I’m open to trying new things, right? This is what we, we tell our listeners every time that we talk to them, don’t be afraid to try something new, put yourself out there. So here we are. And the instructor is very sweet. She’s very kind. And I absolutely looked like a fish outta water. I didn’t know any of the poses. I didn’t any of the saying. And she kept saying breathe. And I did. And I didn’t, I mean, a time, I was like, okay, well, I can’t do anything else because I clearly, I can’t do downward dog. I can’t do whatever this is or cat or whatever. I didn’t, I was thrown by all the animal references. I was just so blown away by this class that I was supposed to be taking. And I, the whole time I’m taking it, I’m thinking this is supposed to make me relax.
LF:
This is crazy. I’m I’m right now. I can’t even think, but after she would go through steps, she would say, now take a deep breath. And if anything else that I learned from yoga, thank goodness. There were no cameras in the room. And maybe there were, and there was probably somebody watching me laughing hysterically, what ensued in that yoga studio that morning. But when I left, I felt so nothing. It was because she just took time to tell me to breathe. And I think that that’s so important. You just have to take time to breathe, take a moment, take a breath, take a, a beat and, and know that it’s OK to do that. I, but yoga to the people who do yoga, kudos to you all, you are fabulous people who I love and I am envious of, but I do not think I’ve not been back through yoga class. And I think it’s outta pure embarrassment.
JW:
Well, the most difficult thing I did in taking yoga, which I’ve had several yoga sessions and I’ve really enjoyed, it was getting the tights on anyway. But no, I, let me
LF:
See, I get that memo.
JW:
Let me tell you the fun thing though. And I agree a hundred percent, even when you can’t do the poses well, and I’m not there. Some people have flexibility, Lori. I do not have that. I have to really work to get flexible. I mean like my warm ups an hour, right? And she goes, oh, do a do dog. I can do that one. But she says, do a tabletop and I’m going, oh, mine’s a little not level here. It’s gonna table out anyway. So my point is your, your point to be made is this breathe and be in the present. You think they’re really saying to you during to during yoga and I’m not a Yogi, I’m not, I’m just, I’ve learned this, you know, I’m one of these guys that reads everything, but they’re really doing nothing more than trying to channel attentions, to focus on your breath, to take your mind off of what all that distraction. That’s really what that’s about, right?
LF:
Yes. That’s absolutely what it’s about. Had I known that going into it? I, I just, and she was so sweet and, and I made sure that I told her after the class, I said, I’m so sorry that I am a yoga dropout. And she just laughed. And she said, no, no, no. She said, you can come back anytime. But I, I have added yoga dropout to my resume.
JW:
Well, let me tell you, what’s worse than that is Jimmy. You must move to the back of the classroom. And I said, well, I’m doing my best. Cause I wanted be near the instructor. I wanted to be know as close as I could to see the poses correctly, but I’m six foot, two weigh, 240 pounds. Those people around me couldn’t get their Zen going, cuz they’re laughing at me trying to do all these poses.
LF:
And that’s exactly
JW:
Behind the people get behind the
LF:
Listen. I specifically pick a corner in the back because I thought I, these people like they are serious. They come in with their mats and their blocks and their little sticky things on their feet to help them. And I’m looking around going, Ooh, I’m wearing sweatpants. And I didn’t know that I was supposed to bring a mat. Thank goodness they had mats. But it, it is. I mean, there’s a quote that I love when you talk about mental health and it’s that mental health is not a destination, but a process love it. It’s about, it’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.
JW:
Absolutely. And I think if we make one thing clear to our listeners is that there is no stigma to doing exactly for your mental health as you do for your physical health else. Nobody, even a fat boy like me jogging down the street, no one stops and says, oh, look how bad this is. You shouldn’t be jogging. You’re too heavy, blah, blah, too light, whatever. Don’t worry about what others think. The whole point of this is to care for your wellbeing. Not everybody’s thinking of you being well. And that’s the stigma. I think there’s a lot of people that, that attack at this. Well, I just gotta be in control of me and you know what, I’m all about the Heman, but I’m also about being the leader for your family, being there for your team at work, being mentally engaged so that, you know, when you have need, not because you can overcome everything. That’s what I think is the whole point of the mental health to me is I need to know what I don’t know. And I need someone that can help me overcome what I don’t know that I, I need to get rid of. Does that make sense?
LF:
Absolutely. And I mean, there, there is a a saying that, you know, it’s OK to ask for help. That’s a very powerful statement. And I think that we tend to forget that as individuals, as team members, as spouses, as parents, that is okay to ask for help. And there is no, absolutely no shame in any of that, because if we’re ever going to get better, we have to be able to ask and listen, I mean, and we’ve talked about that before on the podcast about being an active listener and how important it is and how vital that is. And I think that is an absolute attribute to a positive mindset when it comes to mental health, it is okay to ask for help.
JW:
So Hey folks, this is a great topic, I think. And before we end the show, I just wanna recap a few things do understand there is nothing negative related to your mental health that couldn’t be resolved by seeing someone that’s trained in that profession that knows how to help you find release from whatever may be of your situation. The second thing take care of your physical health. Your mental health is right in line with that, your spiritual health, marital health, whatever it takes. We work on our bodies far more than we work on our minds and our thoughts. And that is something that we need to start correcting with more balance in life. And that’s all it is. Life is nothing more than a balance. You know, if we eat too many sweets, we have bad out outcomes. We eat enough salad. We have better outcomes for example, and it’s all in the process of balance.
JW:
And one thing on one want to leave from Lori and me to you today before she closes this show out is to say this, you are responsible for you only, you know, when you have something in your mind, that’s overwhelming something that’s anxious for you to deal with. Some, sometimes you’re under distress, far more than you should be. We only ask you seek out a qualified professional to help you with that and get your mental health strong again and where you can be a help to those around you, that that need you and, and certainly want you to be at your best.
LF:
So in the month of may, the challenge just happens to be in correlation with mental health awareness month. So this month we want you to make sure that you do something every single day, that helps facilitate healthier mental health for you, your team, your family, your loved ones and your friends.
JW:
Hey, Hey Lori. I got a real problem because I’m still kind of down about the people laughing at me wearing my, you know, Spiderman, tights to the yoga studio,
LF:
Tights, Jimmy, come on. Did anybody else have on tights?
JW:
Well, no they didn’t, but no one made the rule and told me that. So I guess I’ll just, you know, keep going to yoga, but I did have the Spider-Man mask on. Maybe they don’t recognize me.
LF:
You were incognito.
JW:
That’s right. Well, listen folks, it’s been a great episode. Thank you for joining us again this week. Tell your friends about Live a Life By Design. If they would like that Monday morning moment of motivation in their life and Lori and I are glad to meet you here every Monday to help you become bigger, better and bolder for yourself with that said, Lori, it’s at the end.
LF:
It’s at the end.
JW:
So let’s do this.
Both::
Live a life by design!
JW:
Take care, everyone.
