Podcast Transcript
LF:
Have you ever given any thought to some of the things that you think are important, but you don’t really realize they’re important? Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. In a weird, roundabout way this morning. I’m talking about habits – good, bad, and ugly. This morning, we’re gonna give you some opportunities to learn about seven key things that you can do to create good and sustaining habits. So here we go. What’s the first one? Well, the first thing is we gotta introduce Jimmy.
JW:
I need no introduction. Thank you. Yes, thank you.
LF:
He does not need any introduction.
JW:
Worldwide Name recognition, as you know, branded that name many years ago. Hey, Lori. Good morning. You know, one of the crazy things about this particular subject is that it’s something that after 34 years in my career, and you know, I’ve had, I don’t know how many years of education and I still work on habits. They are fundamental to the way we live our life. And even better than that, they can make life so much easier if we have habits that are positive. Now we have some negative habits. Lori, and you have one of those. Yeah. If you don’t mind me disclosing, she’s addicted to the coffee bean, so.
LF:
Yeah, it’s bad.
JW:
She doesn’t even have to drink it, folks, if she just gets near any kind of coffee place and smells the roasting, it’s got her. She just turns in and it’s just, you know, hangs out at the bar drinking coffee all day. Yeah. And that’s a coffee bar, by the way. She’s not hanging out at the other bar. So, this is one of the most powerful skills that one can learn in life, in my opinion. So let’s kick it off. What’s the first one?
LF:
Okay, so the first one, of course, we’re going to start small. I recently heard one, I recently heard someone say that they like to eat the entire frog at one time. Whoa. And I thought, oh, that, that does not one, that, that visual is not good for me. I don’t frog. No. I know some people like to eat frog legs, I’ve heard, but no I think the person was trying to use it as a metaphor that they tried to eat the whole thing first. But we are going to start small. We’re gonna begin with small and achievable goals that are easy to implement in your daily routine. This will make it easier for you to stick to the habit and build momentum.
JW:
Oh, right outta the cuff. I’ll tell you folks, this is why she’s the lead host on this show. She has great advice. And as you know, Lori, I am a voracious reader. One of the most powerful books on habits that you can read is found on our website at www.livelifeby.design. Under Jimmy’s top reads, the book is titled, and here it is, Lori. This is True Atomic Habits by Author James Clear. It’s a great book, but if you wish to break this process of habit forming to its smallest, granular level, then build it up to the lifestyle you desire. You need to read this book and get to reading it today. But Lori, here on Live a Life By Design. We don’t want ’em just reading books. We want ’em to put these words into action. So what’s the next tip? Number two.
LF:
Okay, so in order to start small, the second follow up to that is to make it a priority. You’ve gotta make your new habit a priority by scheduling it into your daily routine. And for me, this oftentimes is difficult because my daily routine is already jam-packed with so many other things that I can’t sometimes possibly wrap my head around starting something new. But you have to make time for it, and this is gonna help you build consistency and make it easier for you to sustain over time.
JW:
Now wait just a minute. You say quote, schedule it, you actually mean to place it in my calendar.
LF:
Absolutely. If you are a paper person or if you are a digital person like myself, I have a rule. If there isn’t a dot on the calendar, it is not happening. In my world, I’m a very scheduled and detailed and or detailed oriented person. So if it’s something that’s important to me, I’m going to create a dot. If you’re a paper person, you’re gonna go in with your pencil or your pen and you are going to write it down. It’s that visual reminder that, hey, I need to add this to the list of things that I have to get done today.
JW:
That is some really good advice too. And I will tell you, I use this a lot spec, especially when I have a new habit. And I’ll tell you why I do that, Lori, is because it’s like going to workout. If you go work out one morning at five, you go the next day at 5:00 PM you go the next day at 3:00 PM you’re just not gonna sustain that habit. If you say to yourself, I’m gonna go every day at 5:00 PM then that will become a habit, and you’ll do it to be very honest with you, automatically after a while. Right?
LF:
Well, and I absolutely agree, and I think that one of the habits that we need to, well, for me personally, to work better on is saving money. If I deposit a portion of my savings or a portion of my paycheck into savings on the same day of the month and start with the same amount for several months, it gets me into the mindset that I’m doing something fiscally responsible for myself and for my family. And I’m creating a positive habit so that I do it and forget about it. I may drop that money into that bank and never think about it again until I need it. But I know in the back of my mind that it’s there. So I think that there’s a lot to be said for these personal habits that can benefit us financially as well.
JW:
You are spot on. So think about the habits we’re mentioning today for all of our listeners. Look at the show notes and say, this can apply in many areas of life, particularly on the financial side. If you think about starting small, don’t, don’t try to start with half of your take home pay, right? Start with something small till you build that momentum. Get in that habit, but make it a priority. You’re understanding, hey, that is first, invest, and then spend the rest not the opposite way. And you know, the third one, here is another great tip, Lori, you ready for number three?
LF:
I’m ready.
JW:
Hold yourself accountable. Does that not just lead right into your financial savings, right?
LF:
It it does, but that’s a hard one.
JW:
It’s a very hard one, but you know what? You gotta track your progress and hold yourself accountable to sticking to the habit. This could involve using a habit tracking app journaling, or seeking support from a friend, or hey, the old dreaded accountability partner. You know, look the one you work with out with every day.
LF:
I have one of those.
JW:
It would not shock you, Lori, that I keep a streak tracker in my planner for my habits. You thought I was going, whoa, somewhere else with that, didn’t you?
LF:
I was like, what? Hang on. Streak? Say that again.
LF:
A Streak Tracker. A visual, not a streaker, a streak tracker. Now let me explain what this means.
LF:
Wow. Okay.
JW:
I have, yes, I have in my mind before a habit really gets ingrained in me. Some people say there’s a magic number 21 days in a row, and it’s a habit. Scientists have actually proven there is no such automatic habit adoption day. It is different for everyone. So, you know, my deal, to be honest with you, is about 30 days. I have to do something for 30 days. And then I’ll tell you, it’s ingrained almost to automation. And it’s just how I do things. For example, when I lay my workout clothes out, I lay ’em out at night, already have the bag ready. Why I set it by the back door on my way to the garage, because I know if I have to think about it, that’s one hurdle I have to overcome. But Lori, if it’s a priority and I’m starting small and I’m holding myself accountable, I’ve gotta check that box in the old planter and say, I got mine done today. And if I look at 30 checks, bingo, it’s a done deal for me.
LF:
Well, we’re holding ourselves accountable and we’re keeping our streak going, of making sure that this is a family friendly show. So I’m really glad about that.
JW:
Yes, yes.
LF:
But in all these steps, you know, we’re now at number four. Okay? So you said start small, make it a priority. Hold yourself accountable. But one of the great things that we don’t forget to do is celebrate your progress. So you have to celebrate it. All the small wins along the way, don’t cut yourself short. This will help you to stay motivated and encourage you to continue your habit.
JW:
You know, this just brings back memories from the seventies man, and the eighties. So you remember one of those great bands that just brought you off the old chair and into the dance floor? Cool and the Gang? “Celebrate good times, come on!” You remember that?
LF:
Hey, I love that singing voice. We’re gonna have to add a little bit more of that.
JW:
Yeah, I probably violated some kind of, you know, patent or some author’s rights right there. But anyway my point is that great song though, great song. As the dogs quit howling near the episode, your listening folks and your Air Bud, the point I’m making is, is guess what that song’s all about. Celebrate those good times. And when you have a new habit or you are just making progress, let’s say you’ve done five days of this habit, that’s a great time to celebrate. But how do you celebrate is the question I have. Lori, how would you celebrate it by getting progress on one of your habits?
LF:
Oh goodness. You know, my, I, I like. You’re gonna laugh at me. This is funny. I can’t believe I’m actually divulging this on live podcasting, but I am the third grader still stuck in my head from when I was in the third grade and my homeroom teacher gave me a gold sticker. I love that would be, I know it sounds silly, but it’s a little bit of a representation for me. It takes me back to a simpler time where you did what was expected or you did something extra and you re you were rewarded with something that was so simple, but yet it meant so much. Over the years, I’ve collected stickers for different things motivational things that remind me of, you know, some of my favorite places or some of my favorite activities. And so I, and it, to celebrate a small win I keep a, I keep, I cannot believe I’m saying this is so embarrassing. I keep a, a little sheet of those multicolored stickers and, you know, I look at them and I stick them on things and remind myself that, you know, even the smallest thing can be important and impactful. And sometimes we just need that visual reminder. So there it is. I’m a star sticker reward person.
JW:
Hey, that is awesome though. But the thing I like is you took a small item to reward yourself to continue something that starts small, made a priority, and you’re accountable to it. And guess what? It turns into something big in life. You know, the Atomic Habits book has a statement on the very front. It says how to take small changes and turn them into humongous you know, rewards in the future. So health financial, spiritual, whatever you’re trying to get a habit of doing. I will tell you though, one of my favorite things to do in rewarding me, it is line up my reward with what I’m doing. So, for example, if I’m gonna be saying I want to go work out six days a week or five days a week, typically it’s what I do five days a week. What I do is if I meet my five days, I get me something that’s associated with that habit I’m forming.
JW:
So I may go buy some new workout sneakers or a new pair of workout socks or you know, something to do with what I’m trying to grow in that habit. Likewise, when I’m journaling, guess what I did? Now, this wasn’t a little one. I did something big. I wanted to get in the journaling habit years ago. And I said, if I can do journaling 30 days every day, didn’t have to have a certain link. Could be a page some days, some days I’d write for three or four pages getting stuff off my head, right? I did something big, Lori.
LF:
What did you do?
JW:
I ordered a limited edition montblanc writing instrument that I had my eye on, and said, if, and I put a picture of it. So don’t laugh, I printed off the internet. I posted this picture everywhere I could find it except my shower, cuz I didn’t have the laminating machine with me at that time. But my goals are in my shower, by the way. So I do have their mask. Yeah, yeah. Affirmations and goals. But what I’m saying to you is, is you have to get your brain baited for that going, Hey, I wanna be successful. How do you do it? Stay motivated. So I bought well, I don’t wanna tell you how much it was this, some, some people could feed their family for a year on what I paid for that, but they only make so many as my justification. So I hope that’s okay.
LF:
Wow. Limited, limited edition.
JW:
Very much so. And you tell your wife after you’ve received it and say, thank you, honey, for my gift. And she goes, I didn’t order that. And how, who, what-?
LF:
You know, well, where could it have come from?
JW:
Yeah, yeah!
LF:
Well, now that we know, we Jimmy, we celebrate in very different ways, no matter how you celebrate it, it’s important to remember to do that, to reward yourself and celebrate those small things. And even, you know, just embrace it. I I I will never, I never knew what a malt block pin was until you told me about your collection. And now I see them and I think, oh, that’s a Jimmy pin.
JW:
So I’ve had such a great impact on her life. People, you know, I thought she’s gonna say something about empowering me with wisdom giving me confidence in life. She goes, I know something about Jimmy Monk blanc pins. Now that’s pretty superficial, Lori, but I’m gonna let it go because I know you got this next habit. Cuz right after we celebrate good times, come on, we do what, what’s the next tip you can give us?
LF:
We stay positive.
JW:
Of course we do.
LF:
How can you not say positive? We’re singing to you this morning, which is a rarity right here. I mean, that never happens, but you maintain a positive mindset and focus on the benefits of your new habit. So this will help you to stay motivated, it’ll make it easier to sustain over time. Mindset plays such a huge role. We talk a lot about that. We get inside our own heads. We find reasons to tell ourselves that we can’t do something, we can’t accomplish something, we can’t try something new. All the negatives and all the insecurities just flood into your mind. If you can find a way to deflate those naysayers and to push them back into the back, back, back part of your mind, forget about ’em. Just focus on being positive. Talk nice to yourself. Write notes to yourself. You know, I always have a, you know, talking about accountability partners.
LF:
I have a friend of mine that’s like, everybody has their hype person, you know, find that one person. Share your goal with them so that they have the ability to help you stay positive. And it could be a simple goal of saving money. It could be a simple goal of learning more about financial. You know, literacy. For me, that was my goal last year. I wanted to learn more. I felt at 41 years of age, I wasn’t prepared and didn’t fully understand some of those things. It’s like speaking a foreign language. But by telling other people about my goal, and even when I didn’t understand things, they would help me navigate and say, okay, don’t give up. Like we can do this. We gotta find out what we need to know. We’ll get connected with the right people. And sometimes that positive mindset motivates other people. You know, they’re helping you, but you’re also helping them by showing them that you can do it and have that positive attitude. So I know, I know you have a quote, a book, a movie that just embodies what Jimmy does to stay positive
JW:
So you’re gonna laugh. I do actually have a, a good quote. Life and banks, you know, we’ve had some bank fairs in our country in the last couple three weeks, but life and banks have a lot in common. You can only get out of it what you put in it. So what I mean by that is, is that basically the positivity you generate in your life has to come from within. And then once it’s out of you, those around you send it back. And so that’s why you can’t really just hang around naysayers and people that have a very poor attitude toward life because it all comes back instead of being positive, it comes back in a negative form. But I will say this, I am so positive about a lot of things. Some people think I never have a bad day. And do you know, I really don’t.
LF:
I believe that I know that about you. That that listeners probably know that about you. It’s not, this is Jimmy, you know, the full blown grade, A 110%, this is Jimmy. And he, he does not dwell on having a bad day.
JW:
This is not hype. I do allow myself some downtime. That’s why I journal. And nobody reads what I put in there. It’s just my brain dumping of the things that are on my mind so I can stay positive. But here’s the one powerful thing about this tip. Positivity is like bathing. It won’t hurt you to have some every day, whether you think you need it or not. So, now that’s for our friends that don’t believe in daily baiting, but I do believe in that sometimes twice a day. Cuz after my workout, I can’t sleep unless I’ve bathed cuz Ms. Williams said, hoo, is that wet? What? No. But you know, here’s the thing about being positive, and I mean this sincerely, folks, and you, you can take this to the bank. As they say, positivity is something in life that once you exercise that muscle, you will attract others around you that seek it. And then they are positive. You can make an exponential impact in your community. People walk up to me all the time and they accuse me of being, of all things Lori of Baptist minister. And I ask, why do you say that? And they go, you’re always smiling. You talk to everyone. We’ve never seen you have a bad day. And I make my famous quote, I say to them, I’ve never had a bad day, just some days better than others.
LF:
It’s a good philosophy to live by, which kind of segues into our sixth habit, right?
JW:
Yeah, yeah. This is a biggie for me. Practice self-compassion.
LF:
Ooh, this one’s important.
JW:
Yeah. You know, just be kind to yourself. If you slip up, have a mistake, you gotta setback back, Lori, listen, it is life. There is no perfect uphill climb. It is more like the, if you will, the slants of going down into the Grand Canyon. You don’t just go straight down, you have to go switch back, switch back. And you know, sometimes you just have a tougher time than you do other days depending on what you’re doing. But remember that creating a new habit does take time and significant effort in most cases. And it’s okay to make mistakes along the way.
LF:
I have tried mult talk about habit failure. So I have tried many things. I’m not afraid to try things. But I have, I have honestly can say after multiple attempts, I have failed at meditation. I’ve tried it, I have just researched, I’ve read books about it. I’ve listened to other podcasts about it. I, I absolutely want to be zen and clear my head and be in this space of just silence. My brain is not having it. I cannot do it. I have tried the gerbil still runs the wheel inside my brain, the entire time I am trying to meditate. I love to hear people talk about it. I’m fascinated by it. So I really, after four or five failed attempts of sessions on trying to learn how to do it, I finally had to practice some self-compassion and say, Lori, you have to move on. You need to find something else. This is not your thing. I, I’ve just, I’ve never considered myself a person to fail. We talk a lot about one of my favorite quotes is when something goes wrong, yell, plot, twist, and move on.
JW:
Yes, great idea.
LF:
With meditation, I’ve had to leave it.
JW:
Let me tell you, Lori, that’s a toughie for all of us. And I do love to meditate, but you’re gonna laugh. I have a limitation on that. So I can do that for about 15 minutes and that’s my max. And I know the Zen masters go, you must be one in mind, body and spirit, and you should be able to do this for hours. And I’m like, I can’t even get my legs crossed, right? Half the time. So… Now I’ll say this, I can’t give two minutes. My yoga instructor, yes, my yoga instructor, Lori, you’re gonna love this. The last pose that we have in our yoga class is the surrender pose. So you’re laying a supine down on the ground, on your back, palms up, surrendering to the body, to the ground, and just kind of relaxing. Total discounting on your breath is all you’re doing, closing your eyes.
JW:
And that music comes in, in her background, you know, and, it’s real soft. And so she said, Jimmy, she said, I gotta tell you, you are the best pose master for surrendered. I said, really? She goes, yeah, I actually heard you snoring a little bit today. So I said, Hey, I was in my zone, man. I was in my zone. You know, seriously though Lori, you gotta start over, right? So never give up on something you wish to achieve. Lori’s just being a little funny today. But she is really good at a ton of things. And maybe this is those one, one of those things she’s gotta work at. And if we have to work at it, guess what? More benefit, right? Because now you’re becoming the person you wish to become in that particular area of habit.
LF:
Which segues into our final one, which is perfect. And that is to keep learning. You’ve got to keep learning about all the benefits of new habits and habits that you want to explore. Don’t be afraid to look into it. Don’t be afraid to decide to talk to someone about something. Learning you never, never, never stop learning. And that’s the great thing about all of what we’re talking about today. Starting small, making things a priority, holding yourself accountable. You celebrate your progress, you stay positive, and you practice self-compassion and you never, never stop learning. Oh, these are great things to remember.
JW:
Lori and folks, another great salient point from what I call the co-host with the most, Lori Few. That last one is my big Strength Finders 2.0. Number one attribute. I am a lifetime learner and that is why I read so much. I encourage everyone, pick up a book, turn off the boob tube, turn off the radio. Just sit down and focus on that book for a while. If it’s gonna give you some important factors, you gotta read it and you gotta absorb it. And you know, at the end of the day, I’d say Lori’s got some good advice for us as we close out this episode of Live a Life By Design. What would that be, Lori?
LF:
So this week it’s vital for you that you do some introspection of your life to see what habits you should be installing into your life, rather big or small, to see what you want it to be. Never forget you’re in control of your own destiny. And I know that sounds heavy for a motivational-
JW:
I’m sorry, I’m sorry I was meditating. What’d you say,
LF:
I know. It’s, it’s all about that perspective, right? So we hope that you’ve gained some knowledge this morning. We hope that you go out and have a great week. And remember, you are the one in control of you.
Both:
Live a life… by design.
JW:
You know, Lori and I have got a habit we’re working on called The Last Outro. We’ve gotta-
LF:
We have got to keep working. It’s terrible, but we’re trying.
JW:
We are in the zone for you people. They’ll see you next week, right here on Live a Life By Design. From Lori Few and myself, I’m Jimmy Williams. We appreciate you more than you know. Share this episode with a friend. Just click that share episode off your phone or however you’re listening. Send it to a friend, help them be a bigger, better, and bolder person on their terms. Until next week, everybody had a great one.
