Episode 175: Be a Little Selfish

Good morning, everybody. I, Ashley Stieb, your temporary host of Live a Life By Design, will be delivering your Monday morning moment of motivation. Today’s topic is self care. So for example, Jimmy is taking his annual sabbatical, practicing self care. Good for him. Good for him. In the meantime, I am going to sit here and give you some nice little tips on how you can practice self care. Especially the ways that I practice self care. It is one of my favorite things to do. So I’ve got lots of ideas, so buckle up and let’s get started. It can be really hard to take time for ourselves. Sometimes, you know, we often put others needs before our own, or we just get caught up, caught up doing things for other people. And we forget that we are also people that need things done for them and doing this can lead to all kinds of negative effects, mainly burnout. You know, that’s something that that’s a word that’s been floating around a lot lately. And I think with the pandemic and everything going on in the world, we were all kind of getting to feel a little burnt out. So some symptoms of burnt out or being burnt out, include being exhausted, lots of fatigue, and you just have no motivation to do really anything. Isolation just kind of stay into yourself and not really wanting to go out and do fun things or spend time with people. You can be a little more irritable. So if you notice that you’re snapping at people a lot more, you could be getting a little burnt out. Another one that’s more on a physical level is frequent illness. So once your body kind of gets worn down, your immune system gets a little worn down and you can find yourself getting sick a lot.

So like you can have headaches colds, upset, stomach, I mean all kinds of things. So it’s really, really important to practice selfcare every once in a while, I try to practice it at least once a week in just small ways, you know, it doesn’t have to be something big and elaborate. So where do we start with selfcare? Some people might think of selfcare and their mind automatically goes to like a spa day or something going in, getting a massage, getting a facial, spending time in a sauna. Those are all really great things, but they’re kind of pricey for being honest and often not accessible to everybody. So you can do smaller things at home, more simple acts, you know, take a bubble bath, take a nice hot, steamy shower put on a face mask, you know, just like one of those little sheet masks that you can get at the store for like $3.

It can be something like that. Or just even as simple as getting up, taking a shower, washing your hair, you know, brushing your teeth, putting on makeup or shaving your face, whatever you do to help yourself feel better and more confident, just do that. That’s self care who knew it was so easy, right? Other little ways that you can practice self care are by sleeping in on the weekend. That’s my favorite thing to do. I am not, I am not a morning person, especially before my coffee. I know that that is cliche to say, but it is true. Guys do not just do not wake me and don’t talk to me before I have my coffee. Or if you are not like me, maybe you like to get up early and by all means you do you boo, boo. I will not be doing that though.

Other great ways are to take a nap. I really like taking naps, especially on the weekends. Oh, they’re so nice. So relaxing. I could sleep the whole day away and not even be upset about it. Some people don’t like to do that, so I get it. So do other things, you know, things that you enjoy, whatever that may be. Another really good way for me to practice self care myself is to clean. Now, if you know me personally, you’re probably laughing at me because you’re like, Ashley, come on cleaning really well. Yeah. sometimes household chores can get away from us. Trust me. I know. But every once in a while when that happens, I just have to get up. I have to make myself clean. And then after I do, oh my gosh, I feel so much better. I feel so much better.

I feel like I can finally relax. So yes, cleaning, you can stop laughing now. And then there are other things that we do that we enjoy to practice self care, read a good book cook a nice meal, spend quality time with your friends and family. You can practice hobbies that you enjoy. So for instance, I like doing photography so I can go out and take some pictures, or if I have a photo shoot schedule up with some clients, sometimes it can be really hard for me to find the motivation, to just get up and go and do it. But once I’m out there and I’m taking the pictures and especially afterwards when I’m at home and I’m editing and I see everything, you know, that has come together in this art that I’ve created and these memories that I’ve captured for people, it makes me feel so good.

And it’s something that I enjoy doing so much. So I consider that like, self-care, even though it’s work, it’s work, but I, I love it. So I’m happy to do it. You can also just take a weekend getaway, go somewhere for the weekend, a little mini vacation. You know, I don’t live too far from a city, so I can take a weekend, get a hotel or go stay with a friend and take my husband with me or my sister. And we can just have a little weekend, just go do something fun. Even if it’s just seeing a movie and going to eat at a nice restaurant, things that we could literally do in our own town here at home. But it’s just a change of scenery and you’re out there and you’re doing something fun. You don’t have to worry about the things back home.

You just get to focus on yourself. I also really love shopping. So that’s another really great way for me to practice self care. Is it the best way to do it? Probably not, but I love it. So I’m gonna keep on doing it. Or, you know, you don’t have to do anything at all. Really. You could also just sit at home, stay in your pajamas all day, sit on the couch, or stay in bed, sit on the porch, whatever you wanna do, if it’s nothing at all and that’s fine. And that is how you practice self care. In fact, I encourage it every once in a while. I like to have those days where I do absolutely nothing.

Another great way to practice selfcare that is a little bit more involved is to practice mindfulness and expressing gratitude. So I don’t mean going up to somebody and thanking them for something that they’ve done for you though. You should do that. What I mean is just taking a couple minutes to quiet your mind, kind of like meditation, just kind of clear your mind of all the thoughts that are weighing you down and just be in the moment. Take a couple minutes to reflect on, you know, reflect on your day or reflect on the week or just little random things that you wanna choose to reflect on that you can be grateful for. So some things that I’m grateful for right now in this moment is the nice, cool, cool weather that we’re having after having like, I don’t know. So many days over a hundred degrees, the high today is like 92. And normally I would be like, Ugh, that’s still so hot, but thank goodness. It is like 15 degrees cooler than it was two days ago. I’m also really grateful for having clean drinking water because not everybody has that kind of stuff. So just little things to kind of reflect on, to be grateful for like that. It doesn’t have to be something crazy.

That’s a really good way to practice those two things being mindful and grateful is journaling and journaling. Doesn’t have to be like writing in a diary. Like when you were a kid, do your diary. It doesn’t have to be that it can be all kinds of things, whatever feels right to you is right. There’s no right or wrong way. It’s just what feels right. So writing down the things that you did for the day that’s journaling, it can be cathartic. Just get it off of your mind. I know for me just writing things down all the thoughts that are racing through my head, just getting it on paper and it’s like gone. So that’s it. That’s I did it, you know, it’s no longer on my mind. I mean, it’ll probably still be on my mind at some point, but for the moment it’s gone.

And if you have trouble journaling, just coming up with things to write down, which some people do and that’s okay, you can try a prompted journal. So there’s tons of different ones out there that you can buy. You just, you know, go on Amazon and type it prompted journal. It’ll probably bring up all different kinds of options. I have one that I will just randomly flip to a page. I don’t go in any kind of certain order. I’ll just randomly flip to a page and it’ll have a random prompt. So one was like, write down your top five favorite movies of all time. So then it kind of gets you thinking outside of the box, things that you probably wouldn’t normally journal about. So I start thinking, what are my favorite top five movies? And I think, well, my number one favorite movie is Greece.

And then I start thinking about how, when I was seven, someone introduced me to Greece and it was just life changing for me. I was like, wow, I really love this movie. And you wouldn’t think that a seven year old would love that movie so much, but man, I did, I used my allowance money and I went and bought it on VHS. I’m just showing my age a little bit and it’s okay. I went and bought it on VHS and the set that I bought, like the box set that I bought came with the script. So then I had the script. So I would just sit down and read along with the script as I watched the movie and I had to buy the CD. So I got the CD and I listened to it constantly on my, on my Disman home, man.

We’re just gonna ignore the fact that I’m really showing my age today. and I would think back and I’m like, wow, this movie is really where my love for musicals in theater and singing and dancing really started. So I have so much to be grateful for, for this one movie. And, you know, that’s just how you, that’s how you reflect and you’re grateful for these types of things. So that’s what I mean, it’s a really good way to just kind of think outside the box and be aware. Speaking of being aware, mental health awareness is really what self-care boils down to. I think being aware of our own mental state and taking action to really take care of it is self-care is like the epitome of self care. It can be really, really hard to admit to yourself that you need help. Sometimes for me, it was, I spent years in denial.

And so finally I just kind of broke down my, my mind couldn’t take it anymore. And it was like, girl, you need help. So I finally said it out loud and when I said it out loud, I was like, whew, I feel bit better already. So it can be hard to do that. But trust me, once you do, you can really get that ball rolling and you just start to feel better. So obviously seeing a therapist, talking to somebody is a really, really great way to get help for your mental health. And I absolutely love going to the therapist. I go every two weeks, I’ve been doing it for almost a year now and I have no complaints, 10 outta 10 recommend would, would try again, would try again. It’s a great way for me to just go in and get everything off of my mind.

I have a whole hour to just talk. No one’s gonna interrupt me. Well, she might interrupt me, but most of the time she just lets me talk and it’s great. And she helps me realize things about what I’ve said that I probably would’ve never realized on my own. And so she even helps me find ways to be grateful for certain things and express that gratitude and be mindful. And she gives me ideas on how to practice self care, little things that I can do for myself, because it’s okay to be every once in a while. You don’t always have to be selfless though. You should be selfless, but you don’t always have to be selfless. just take care of yourself, guys. That’s all I got. That’s all I gotta do another great way to be aware of your mental health and practice. Good mental health awareness.

And self-care is by taking a mental health day. You don’t have to be sick to take time off work. Sometimes it can just be too much. Remember with that burnout that we talked about at the beginning that can really, really affect us when it comes to our work. And it’s okay to just take a day. You don’t have to tell your employers why you’re taking time off. It’s not really any of their business because it’s your own business. So do not be afraid to take that mental health day. It can help you so much. And then while you’re off on your mental health day, do one of the things that I talked about in the podcast, read a book all day nap all day, whatever it is that you wanna do to feel good and feel rejuvenated and feel ready to come back to work and like take a step forward on a new foot, you know, just that kind of thing.

So my challenge for you this week is to just do one thing for yourself. Be selfish, take a bubble bath, wash your face every day. You know, whatever it is, just take the time to be selfish and practice self care at least one time this week. Can you do that for me? Because doing that is really a great way to live your life by design. See what I did there. So that is this week’s episode. Sorry. It is shorter than usual, but I hope that it is helpful. And I hope, I hope that it helped you have your Monday morning moment of motivation. Thank you all for listening until next time

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