How do you learn from your past? What lessons have you learned in 2022 to empower you to become bigger, better and bolder you in 2023? In this episode, Lori and Jimmy share some of their most impactful lessons learned in 2022.
Episode Keys
- The importance of being self-aware to help you grow by learning from your actions and mistakes.
- Why it is critical that you don’t commit the same mistakes in life and pivot to make better decisions.
- How you should treat yourself to gain the most growth in your mindset!
- Why you should spend more energy bragging on your friends and team members rather than criticizing them.
- Planning now for 2023 will give you the boost of encouragement to tackle the new year with a ton of positivity!
Podcast Transcript
JW:
Singing Christmas music
LF:
Jimmy!
JW:
What? Oh, oh! Hey, Lori! What’s going on?
LF:
Hey! It’s podcast time!
JW:
Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. Hey, you know, hey, it’s only six days, Lori, until the big day. You know, the big man arrives Christmas.
LF:
Yeah, that’s right. We’re on the countdown. Jimmy, how are you doing?
JW:
Well, Lori, since you ask, you know, I’m always honest with you about everything being my co-host, and I’m not doing very well.
LF:
What?
JW:
Yeah, this has been a tough year for me. I’ve not been good much of the year. I was on a sprint here at the last 30 days, and I don’t think even got that done. So I’m just pretty certain, oh, jolly old St. Nick is not gonna be bringing anything but coal again this year. But on the bright side, we had a great neighborhood barbecue last year.
LF:
Okay, well, let’s get this episode started this morning with a little bit better.
JW:
You know, Lori, absolutely. We wanna give value to our wonderful listeners and subscribers all over the world. So this is gonna be an episode, which is based on an amalgamation of emotions.
LF:
A what? Amal… Amalgamation? I don’t, I don’t even know what that, I can’t even comprehend that word. There’s not enough caffeine in this cup.
JW:
Well, you know, uh, let’s just say this, Lori, today we’re gonna share some of our greatest lessons learned in 2022. These lessons may be life-changing for some and life-threatening for others.
LF:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’re not threatening anybody’s life this early in the morning, are we?
JW:
Well, yeah. Wait a minute, maybe I misspoke. I simply mean that you may not live life to your potential if the lesson isn’t learned rather quickly, and the mistake is often repeated.
LF:
Okay. Okay. Now it makes a little more sense. Woo
JW:
Maybe I misspoke there. Wow. So, hey, Lori, what is the first lesson on Live a Life By Design? This is our 190th episode. You’re gonna kick us off here with the first lesson you learned in 2022.
LF:
Oh, goodness. The first lesson I learned in 2022. And don’t laugh, although it may sound funny. I don’t know. You, you might wanna laugh. Um, I, I’m gonna go with my gut on this one. And the, the first lesson I learned in 2022 that I will carry on and that I highly suggest to people is that it is still okay to eat dessert first.
JW:
Oh, that lesson has been learned by me years ago.
LF:
I, I struggle with this, uh, lesson a lot. Um, I am the type of person that I love to be an optimist. I love to be positive. And I can remember struggling as a child. I always wanted to have dessert before dinner. And I remember my mom, you know, the whole typical parent adage of, you do whatever you want when you’re older, but right now you have to eat your dinner first. And so I can remember saying to myself, as soon as I turned 18, I had ice cream for dinner on my 18th birthday. And I don’t know that I ever had dinner per se after that. Um, but as I’ve gotten older and more mature, if you’ll, if you will allow, um, in my seasoned lifestyle, um, I’ve had to really kind of embrace this one about whether or not it’s still okay to eat dessert. First, um, during Covid I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, and it’s an autoimmune disease that I have. I have, uh, I’ll just share with everybody, uh, right here for the very first time on Live a Life By Design, I have Crohn’s Disease.
JW:
Is that from eating all the desserts?
LF:
No. Oh, good. Unfortunately, uh, you know, not, not from eating all the desserts, um, evidently, uh, it’s something that I have had, uh, probably for a really, really long time and just didn’t know it. Um, it’s a disease that fluctuates with stress and, uh, lifestyle and diet. And I really had to reevaluate whether or not I was gonna be able to eat dessert first ever again. And I’ve learned to manage. I’ve have a great team of doctors. Um, I take my medication the way I’m supposed to, and I have not let it stop me. And I think that that’s probably the most important lesson that now do I have dessert? A little bit less for dinner? Probably. So, but it’s still OK to have dessert first, and it’s all about the perspective of is it ever gonna go away? My, my illness? No. Is it all about positive mindset and forward thinking and planning and preparation? Absolutely. And mindset. And I can control all of those things if I do them properly in an order. And so I know that I’m not the only person out there in the world that has a, an issue like that. And there’s, um, reassurance in knowing that there are other people that have these same issues that live full lives to their greatest potential. And that’s what I continue to strive to do. So in 2022, I will still carry on to eat dessert first in 23, maybe just not as often.
JW:
Not as big a slice, if you will. The pie. Yeah.
LF:
Listen, I’m never gonna give up pie.
JW:
No. Hey, who would come on? Who would really? I gotta tell you a funny one though. If you wanna blow some of the people’s minds when you’re having dinner with some friends and stuff like that, and they serve you a piece of cheesecake or pie or something that’s, that’s in a, uh, you know, in a triangle shape, turn it around and eat the crust part facing you first. And they all look at you kinda like, what are you doing? I said, Hey, you eat the hard stuff first. The rest of it is easy, right?
LF:
Yes. One bite at a time and sometimes backwards is a great way to approach things.
JW:
Uh, speaking of desserts, I don’t want to get too deep here and talk a little bit too mushy, uh, but my wife and I have rekindled our love at, uh, a Cheesecake Factory. Let me explain.
LF:
Oh!
JW:
We always just get one slice of cheesecake and two forks. I think you see where this is going. And we entangle our arms as if we had our wine glasses when we were married, uh, at our wedding night. But that wasn’t really wine and there was punch. And then you, you take your fork and you eat that one bite together, that very first bite. Yes, it’s as romantic, as strange as the people are watching us. But anyway, we don’t care. We live in paradise when it’s just she and I.
LF:
That’s right, that’s right. Keep the love alive. And if it’s cheesecake that does that for you, more power to you.
JW:
Absolutely. I gotta tell you, my lesson learned, uh, is not nearly as serious as that. I learned a valuable lesson earlier this year, but it’s a kind of a serious one. Um, I didn’t pivot quick enough. Oh, this is the lesson I learned. I didn’t pivot quick enough on a couple of challenging areas of life that had, I, now, looking back, I’m measuring backwards. Not to the ideal to go on the gap, but just to measure backwards. And I see now that I need to pivot a little more quickly on some of these more challenging tasks when I run up against something that’s not, shall we say, falling into place as it had been planned. And it’s really cool cause you know, my whole team is just such talented people. They saw it before I saw it and they said, well, you know, do we really need to do that?
JW:
Can we not do this and get 95% of the same result? And I looked at them and I said, well, my O C D kind of kicked in and I gotta go the same way I always did. And they said, try it this way. So, really cool idea. I pivoted and I go, why didn’t I do this before I got to this point of frustration and irritation and all this? Cuz it wasn’t working out. And so Lori, my whole lesson, I learned in 23, I’m going to be pivoting quicker. I’m not giving up, I’m just finding another way to get a same result in a different manner so that I don’t get all flabbergasted, so to speak, and blow a gasket and have to eat pie
LF:
Well, speaking of that, I was thinking the whole time you were telling that story about the word pivot. Um, pivoting is a great thing. I mean, we’ve talked about it before on the podcast about how we have to change direction and, uh, but it, it, you say that, and all I can remember in my head is being in the eighth grade and being on the school basketball team, and I grew up in a small community. Um, I was the eighth grader that didn’t know how to dribble, pivot, or any of the sorts. And so I remember the basketball coach pulling me aside at the end of the season and saying, um, Lori, when you enroll next semester, um, you probably should not enroll in athletics.
JW:
Have you heard the cheerleading program, Lori?
LF:
No. That, that, that cheerleading stuff requires coordination as well and more power to those amazing people that are coordinated. Um, but Lori can’t, I didn’t pivot well in the eighth grade. Um, I probably don’t pivot as well as I should now as an adult. So I’m glad that you bring up that lesson, Jimmy, because I think it’s, I think it’s impactful. I think it’s important to acknowledge that that’s, that’s really good lesson
JW:
And, you know, yeah. And you know, that pivoting role, what I’m talking about is doing it quicker than what I normally did. You know, I stayed too long in that rut to try to get things done the old way. And so what I’m learning is, it’s called self-awareness, right? When you need to be self-aware when you’re running to that point, you know when you’re getting there. Uh, so all you should do is grab a glass of 2% milk, get a piece of pie, and then pivot.
LF:
Pivot and pie.
JW:
That’s it. Pivot with pie. What’s your, uh, second lesson learned in 2022?
LF:
Oh, well, okay. So it really didn’t hit me until about halfway through the year. You know, we make these revolutions at the beginning of the year and then, you know, 30 days in, you’re like, what resolution? Yeah. Um, and then we try to regroup. But it really took me probably till the middle of this year to really understand this next lesson. And it’s gonna sound crazy when I say it, but this is a lesson that’s really, really been impactful, impactful for me this year. And it’s brag about people behind their back. And when I say that, it sounds absolutely catty and tacky, but as a working professional and a community member and being involved, I have the opportunity to work with so many different people and different levels and different organizations. And it’s so much fun to get to experience all that. And we don’t do a good enough job of bragging on each other.
LF:
And I know that sounds crazy. Uh, think of it in terms of paying a compliment or job well done or pat on the back. But a lot of, a lot of people that I come into contact with are words of affirmation. People. They will work as hard as they possibly can to be the number one person on your team if they know that they’re appreciated. And sometimes all that takes is for you to say a kind word. And you don’t even necessarily need to tell that person. Because let’s face it, in the world of technology in 2022, the minute you text, tweet, email, Facebook message, Instagram, post something about someone, it’s gonna get back to them in lightning speed. So I really have learned that bragging on people behind their back. I mean, I know it just, it sounds terrible, but it’s so IPO impactful and positive for me. I just get excited talking about it because I’ve really tried to implement that this year and I’m really looking forward to carrying that on in 2023. And I had a friend of mine that said, that’s so crazy that people don’t talk about that. They only talk about when people talk about people behind their backs. And I’m like, no, no, no. It’s something that we can turn and make it into a positive statement. And so I’m really gonna try to continue that momentum into 2023 to, you know, brag about people behind their back.
JW:
Oh, that is a really good one. I love that idea.
LF:
So what’s your next lesson, Jimmy?
JW:
So mine’s a little bit close to yours, and we haven’t talked about this and we haven’t shared any ideas, but mine’s a little bit closer to this. If in fact, I see, let’s say go back to the restaurant, uh, scenario and I have in my mind two numbers to leave as a tip. Always pick the higher number. Lemme explain again, the reason being is it’s not so much that that person gets the benefit of the higher number. So for example, I typically do 20 to 25% of whatever the ticket was. And I’m not bragging to say that. I’m just saying those people work very hard. I don’t know that I could do those jobs, man on their feet all day and putting up with the customers like me that go, Hey, can I get another fork? I just dropped four of them. Uh, but anyway, uh, you know, I’m that guy.
JW:
And so anyway, I always try to say to myself, you know, well, I should leave a tip of this and then I go up one and, and I don’t do that to do anything else other than to say, I wanna show this person respect and I appreciation, right? So today, for example, I was in a restaurant today and, uh, one of my favorite little restaurants, I’m not gonna say the name on the air, but it was a nice restaurant. And it’s like, um, I’m sitting there and I, as soon as I sit down and they seat me in my, my table, I look two tables over and there are two of my friends and colleagues, CPA friends, and they’re sitting there about to have lunch. And I just, they come up and they hug me and they go, haven’t seen you in so long, where have you been?
JW:
We’d start just kind of revisiting. And I thought to myself, man, I hadn’t seen them in so long. So I took my my business card out and one of ’em had changed job career positions. So I said, where are you at now? She goes, I said, give me a card. She didn’t have a card. So I said, let me give you one of mine. You please send me an email. Love to keep touch with you. And so I gave her a card, but on my card I did this. I just wrote on there, my life is better because you’re in it. Merry Christmas. Okay? That’s all I wrote on the back of my card. And, um, I had the wait staff, which we had the same wait staff. This young lady came to me and she, I said, can you help me with something? She said, anything.
JW:
And when a wait staff says anything that tells you these are good, good people to be waitstaff, right? So I said, can you put my ticket and their ticket together and let me just pay for their meal? Cuz it’s just kind of a pay it forward and Merry Christmas to them. And she said, you are the most kind gentleman. I said, well, I, I don’t know about that, but I just wanna pay it forward. And, and so I said, I want you to give ’em this card when I leave. Wait till I’m walking out. Well, she got a little bit ahead of me. I paid her and everything, but she took my card over there. As I was getting up, she gave it to them and they came back and they said, Jimmy, you didn’t need to, you know, all this stuff that most people do, self-deprecating language.
JW:
And, and I said, but you know, you gotta understand guys, my life is better with you people in it. And I’m thankful for your friendship having Merry Christmas. And to me it was just pay the higher deal. So when I left the lady at the table, um, uh, a $35 tip on a $60 meal, uh, so I’m not saying that to brag, I’m just saying she then wanted to give me a hug. And I don’t know this lady from Adam, but she said, I’ve had a long day and it’s not been as busy as I’d like and I need money for Christmas. And I’m like, Hey, you know, you did a great job. Just try to do that. So what I’m saying is exactly what you’re talking about. Brag a little bit, show a little bit more kindness this time of year. I know it’s Christmas, but Lori, people are stressed. They’re still having a difficult time with inflation. They can’t buy as much as single moms. This young lady today said she’s a single mom, man, my heart just pours out for those single parents, moms or dads. That’s a tough gig.
LF:
That’s very tough this time of year. But that’s a great one. I mean, and it can be a small incremental things, you know, aside from the tip, it could have just been the note. You just never know how you’re gonna positively impact somebody’s life. I mean, it’s so, it’s so simple. We talk about it a lot. You know, that kindness is free, but you know, it’s, it’s kindness is all year round. Absolutely 360, 365 days a year.
JW:
You’re saying it be Christmas every day that I could dig cuz I love cooking gifts. Oh, I love it.
LF:
Ok. From the guy, from the guy who’s getting cold.
JW:
Well, I get to exercise cuz you gotta shovel that stuff, right? You can’t just leave in the front yard. So woo,
LF:
That means you have done extra. That’s not good. Most people get a lump, not a whole load in their yard.
JW:
I’d say I got about two ton this last year.
LF:
Woo. My goodness.
JW:
Yeah. So what’s your third one? What’s your final third lesson you’ve learned?
LF:
Okay, so you know, oh, this one, it’s my husband. God bless him. He is the most thorough when it comes to preparing and planning. He does all of his research, he reads all the reviews, he looks, he comparison shops. He doesn’t just take people’s word for it. He’ll, he’ll like get a small group. It’s almost like a think tank scenario to just buy a pair of shoes. I mean, he’s just that guy. And so what he has really imparted upon me this year got me thinking we should be comparing products, but not people. So one of the things that I’ve learned this year is that oftentimes we put groups of people or entities or businesses or organizations and we lump everybody into the same comparison. If you have a bad experience or a negative experience, sometimes you walk away with the overall impression of I’ll never do that again.
LF:
Or I, I don’t wanna associate with that particular group or project or reason or event. Um, and not necessarily that it’s the the person’s fault who’s in charge. It could be that it’s their team or it’s their business leadership or it’s their department. And so we’re so quick to compare and to, you know, cast a sense of judgment. I know judgment’s such a, it’s just a ugly connotation word, right? During this time of the year. I shouldn’t even really be saying it, but it’s about we shouldn’t compare people, people are individuals. And we talk about how everything that you have as an individual that makes you unique, that makes you you. And really, I wanna go into 2023 reminding myself that I too am a unique individual. I mean, who else do you know that drinks coffee the way I do? I mean that’s really important to me as an individual. But to go in and to look at people individually and not compare them to what they did last year or what they did last quarter or whatever, you know, background that they’ve come from previously in their employment or in their personal life. 2023 is gonna give us an opportunity to have a clean slate. And comparison is the thief of joy. And so we really need to not do that. And that’s something that I’ve learned in 2022 that I definitely am going to try to continue to implement in 2023.
JW:
Oh man, that’s big. That’s big. I, uh, that’s a big task. That is big. And I love the fact though, that start with a clean slate on January one, man, it’s a whole new year. Make it what you want it to be, not let it be what it has to be, right? Um, right. So Lori, my last one, I’ve got a toss up here between two things. I’m gonna go out with the first one, but I don’t think this is the one ideally I wanna put in there, but I’m gonna let you make the decision.
LF:
Oh, okay.
JW:
If it’s Asian food, leftovers in the refrigerator and you don’t recall when they were placed there, assume they’re outta date. I nearly needed a stomach pump over some bad numbers and some stuff earlier in the year. Oh. And I thought we had just been there. My wife said, honey, that’s been like a week and a half, two weeks ago.
LF:
Here’s what you do – when in doubt, throw it out.
JW:
Be girl. I love that. Uh, I I love that. Um, woo. If you see a comment, go out and vomit. That’s what I did. Man, it was, it was bad. Did I just say the V word? Sorry about that. But you’re dropping J bombs over here all day. So, I mean, come on. And that’s judgment folks. Jay bomb judgment. No, on my, on my serious one. On my serious one is this, um, this year I want to speak more from abundance. Now we’re big about that on live life by design, but I don’t know that I’ve often lived up to that in all aspects of life. So think about this. I feel like I give abundance to the people I work with. I’m very honored to work with people like Lori, for example. I try to do things that are abundant. Oh no, you deserve that. Uh, I mean with your foul mouth and those j bombs, you’re thrown out. But anyway, no, I’m just kidding. Uh, so at the end of the day, you know, I feel like I’m with abundance there. I think abundantly, but I gotta be honest with you, I am more harsh on one person in life that I need to not be so harsh and I need to give that person a little bit of grace space. That’s my new term. Grace space. Grace
LF:
Space. I like it.
JW:
And, and that person is the, the guy I see every day. And I look in the mirror and shave and that guy is so critical and I’ve got to learn to be a little bit more grace giving, uh, for myself. I’m really hard on myself. And I think it comes from that competitive attitude. Mm-hmm. I’ve just always had to make what I have become good or bad or as far as I’ve come or how little I’ve grown. Excuse me. But that’s always been on me. And my dad always made this comment to me when I was a kid and my brothers as well, he always said, as hard as you wish to work is as high as you can fly. He said, you can be a rubber band airplane or you can be a four engine jet. You know? And that always rang to me about how high you can fly. And I don’t think he means it in terms of getting too high on yourself. What he meant was, is how you can help others by having more to give to others. Right? So you can’t, you can’t help others from an empty cup, Lori.
LF:
Absolutely true. So, very true. So that’s like that one, I’m
JW:
Gonna be a more abundant to myself and more grace to myself and, uh, little less, shall I say the J bomb to myself.
LF:
Yes. Listen, we’re now going, yeah, that’s it for 2023. I can see it now. We’re gonna market jbo T-shirt.
JW:
Yes, I love it. Got a big J on them. And right there it is. You know, they’re gonna look at us like who and the world.
LF:
Um, a little less J-bomb. That’s what they’re gonna say.
JW:
Less JBoss. And, and you know, and I will say one other one just as a bonus, cause we wanna give more, uh, than we, when we take home here from this episode, we want to give everybody something to live for. If you’re not sure the underwear’s clean, take it back to take it back to the hamper and just give it another run. I mean, it’s just
JW:
I learned that back to the old days in Boy Scouts. If you’re not sure it’s clean, just take it on back to the old washroom and let’s let mom wash it or yourself now that you’re a grown up. But anyway.
LF:
The things that you learn.
JW:
True story. That’s a true story.
LF:
Of course it’s a true story. But so this week, this is what we’re gonna ask first, don’t eat anything in the the refrigerator. Remember that key phrase? If it’s when doubt throw it out. Check your underpants. Just so you know this week, that’s another one that we want you to remember and
JW:
Never loan your underpants to anyone. Don’t. No, I don’t care what good friend, they’re toothbrush and underpants. I do not loan those two things. Okay?
LF:
That is forever burned into your brain, that we just, yeah. Okay. We might have, we may have just broke the podcast with that one.
JW:
I think the FCC may call us now. I dunno what we did that was wrong. But anyway…
LF:
Everyone’s getting toothbrushes and underwear for, for Christmas. Santa’s got his work cut out for him. But this week we want you to reflect on the events that have occurred in your life in 2022. What lessons did you learn that will empower you to become a bigger, better, and bolder? You put them into action today. And remember, this is coming. You still have a chance to redeem yourself, Jimmy.
JW:
It’s a crunch time for me folks. But hey, listen, you don’t have to do this. Be good to yourselves. Be good to your family, be good to your community. And most of all, I wish you, Lori, on this episode before Christmas. The best, most merry Christmas of all.
LF:
Merry Christmas Jimmy.
JW:
We’ll see you after Christmas. Everyone here on Live a Life By Design!
